Who You'd Be Today

There is a song, I know it sounds a bit cliché, but there is a song. I went to my first Kenny Chesney concert when he was the opening act for Tim McGraw on the Set This Circus Down tour. Then I saw him again in the summer of 2007. He sang a song that always tugged at my heart strings. Now, this song brings me to my knees. I always think of Natalie. I always wonder...who she would be today. I catch glimpses through my friend's children. I can watch her run, talk, play, and love on her sister Alie through them. I had the sweetest moment with Julia the other day at the zoo. She and Alie and I were hanging out. She randomly walked over the Alie in her stroller and kissed her on the top of the head. Then a few moments later she did it again saying I love you baby Alie. I can only imagine what kind of sister Natalie would be. This song will not leave my head, it is playing over and over....

Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who'd you be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?

Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.

[Instrumental Break]

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.

Some day, some day, some day.

Someday I will know. I will see her again. I will know how her personality blossomed. And my questions will be answered. I will hold her, kiss the top of her head, and tell her I love her. I will get to take off my coat and my heart won't hurt anymore. My tears will be gone. Some day…

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. ~Psalm 27:14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Today, we are taking treats up to the PICU staff. I like to feed them. It makes me feel like I am helping a little when they did so much. We have yummy cupcakes and coffee for them. This will be the first trip up to visit without Bryan. I don't know how I will do, probably cry a lot. But I will make the time to say thank you. It is important to say thank you.

Love,

Hillary, Bryan, Emily, Alie and our sweet angel baby Nat Nat